On the Last Good Day of the Year


December 31. A day that entails the release of the old and the celebration of the new.  Counting that the crap of the past year will stay put and space for the new and the hopeful will open before us.  The last few days of this year were how I want the next year to feel.  Loved and accomplished and slow and full and nourished.  I took time to make good, healthful food (and still snuck in more than the occasional brownie and chocolate) to give my body what it's been craving for many months after a serious course of antibiotics threw a curveball its way.  Todd's Aunt Jen and Uncle Brian visited this weekend and helped repair the drywall in the basement and build shelves in the dining room.  They helped fulfill the need to time with loved ones and also to make this house a home - 4 years and its slowly starting to feel that way.  I don't know how long we will be in this house, so while I am here, I want it to feel good.  Feel cozy and like a place I want to spend my free time.  I spent a lot of time with Trish sitting on my lap, keeping me warm and slowing me down, reading instead of running around.  Candles lit the living room regularly, adding a glow to the atmosphere that encouraged the feeling of comfort.  I slept.  A lot.  With the exception of last night when Trish kept me up all night because the basement was too dirty to put her in, I slept nearly 9 hours a night for the past week.  We've started getting rid of the excess crap around the house that doesn't serve us and takes up more physical and mental space than I care to keep around. 

I haven't done much writing this year because I feel like I haven't had much time for contemplation.  Even now I'm trying to write with Todd on the phone in the other room and football on mute on the TV and I don't want to move because I'm on deadline to leave the house so I'm doing this distracted.  Where are the earplugs when I need them?? Getting offtrack and I don't particularly know where I was going with this post..

Anyway, I'll finish up and this finishes a full week of posting every day.  I have a lot of goals for the new year that I want to get into, but mostly I'm going to try to be living out my word of the year, RELEASE.  Release the crap that is holding me back , the stress and negative feelings that don't serve me anymore, the fear of how others might perceive me.  Now it's time for Todd and I to hit the road and go spend the last day of the year with Cait and Sam, which is the way I rang in last year and seems appropriate to end and begin the year with those you love most.

I see my light come shinin’
From the west down to the east
Any day now, any day now
I shall be released
— Bob Dylan